Well, who'd have thought I'd already be posting again! I found myself back in Kalen's office this afternoon after church so that I could check some things out online for my church calling (Enrichment counselor in Relief Society) so I decided to take advantage of the opportunity and vent just a little bit.
I do not know what posesses normally sweet and polite people to make any comment they want to people who are pregnant! The larger I am becoming, the more I just dread going anywhere in public because I know that someone will feel like they have to open their mouth and say something about my condition. This is the 5th time around so you'd think I'd be more used to it by now but instead I find myself getting more and more annoyed and I am finding that I don't want to respond very nicely to some of these individuals. I of course have had the usual size comments--You're huge!; Are you sure you're not having twins?; You're too small, are you eating okay?; Haven't you had that baby yet? (I'm only 7 months along!) But this time around we are getting some other interesting observations. Apparently because this is our 5th, we have our hands full (yes, and we love it that way!); we've completely lost our minds; we're very brave; we should put our house on the market because there is no way we can all fit into the one we have now; and my favorite comment so far came from a lady who asked me if I knew they had pills I could take to prevent all of these kids from happening (No way! How can I get my hands on some of those???). I wish I would have asked her which of my children, who were sitting right next to me, I should have prevented, but first of all it was so unexpected coming from her that I almost couldn't think to say anything, but also, I find it is a lot easier to make those kind of comebacks to the strangers I meet who also have to comment on my family planning or lack thereof in their minds.
The thing that bothers me most about it all is that these are usually people who would never approach someone who wasn't pregnant and say "You've really been packing on the pounds lately--you look like you're ready to pop!" and they certainly wouldn't feel it okay to make inappropriate comments about one's intimate life. I've gotten fairly used to complete strangers who feel it is just fine to put their hands on my belly, but part of me will always flinch just a bit when it happens because it's still MY belly they are touching, not the baby. I'd like to see what would happen if I touched their belly sometime!
I just have to tell myself that most people are well-meaning. And one thing it has done is made me more aware before I open my mouth around other expectant mothers. I know that just because one is pregnant doesn't mean she becomes un-sensitive about weight gain, break outs, and varicose veins. If anything, we are more so and it is so refreshing when someone comes out with something that really gives you an ego boost like the lady at church today who said to me "I wish I could have looked as good as you when I was pregnant! You have the cutest little belly ever!" I appreciated that a lot better than another comment I've recently gotten: "Whoa! Wide load coming through!" Ugh!
Oh well. I guess it's just good preparation for the next phase of everyone feeling inclined to make comments or give advice about the new baby...
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6 comments:
Your post is SO TRUE and so funny! I too got all of those comments and more. I'm not even pregnant and haven't been for over two years and I STILL get comments like, "I could see your belly coming around the corner LONG before I could see the rest of you." It's not enough to let it go once the baby comes, people just like to reminisce about how large I get. I'm with you: ugh!
I ofcourse have never been pregnant, so I cannot say I know how you feel. I can say I remember how much Marni hated people touching her belly all the time, and everyones comments. And I hate it when people think they have to give you their input on everthing especially when it comes to YOUR family. For some reason they think you WANT to know. I think people should keep their oppinions about anything to themselves but especially someone elses family. I also think next time Marni is pregnant and people touch her belly, I will turn right around and touch theirs, just for fun, I'm sure that is what they want!
You and Ariana should talk. She has had some really great moments in this pregnancy with some very charming people. I actually have to say that I've had a lot less of that kind of stuff than usual. Of course, I was wearing gigantic sweatshirts until recently, so people didn't realize I was pregnant. Now, though, I don't really appreciate all the "whoa, are you pregnant?" and "well, you finally look pregnant" comments, because I have to wonder if they just thought I was fat for the last several months.
And, I really want to hear what happens when Andrew starts touching bellies... That should be good!
Jenn told me about your blog. I am excited you started one.
As for the pregnancy comments, I am sorry people can be so rude. I have always thought all pregnant people are beautiful, maybe because I never got that opportunity.
I look forward to getting to know your family!
Hello Amy!!! (And Kalen!!!)
Sorry for the silence on my end...pick any excuse!
That's too bad you live around crazy people! You'd think people would make sure their filters were working. I know I hate it when my filter isn't working.
Thanks for sending your blog out - it's fun looking at all of them and keeping up with what's happening.
I relate completely! At least that stage of my life is over. But now it is just fat! I remember when I was pregnant with Brecken, People were always comenting on my size and asking when I was due. I told Todd I was sick of it and he told me to just lie to them. So I was six months pregnant and was in a plumbing store, a total stranger asked me when I was due. I lied and said next week. He said "Whoa you are huge are you having twins!" So much for lieing making me feal better!
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